25 things

1.

My name Yeo Seungju means a pearl of minister. The letter Seung stands for a prime minister, and recently I came up with a suspicion that this is the reason why I have just few girlish characteristics.

2.

I am the youngest child in my family. I love both of my sister and brother, but I like my sister more; she is beautiful, wise and caring. I try to like my brother too, but it seems like I unconsciously think of my brother as a rival.

3.

I love analyzing art in my way, especially Korean Literature and paintings. When I read works, I usually guess what he tried to express or how he would have felt writing them.

4.

I am basically afraid of talking to others. Although I try hard not to be worried, it is still uncomfortable to talk to certain people.

5.

I was a physics girl. I studied physics in Hagwon since the first year of the middle school. Because the teacher taught me thoroughly and steadily, and because I loved the way of his teaching, I liked physics a lot. If he had taught math instead of physics, then I think I would have liked math more. I enthusiastically learned and studied physics. Anyway, this year I realized that I rather like chemistry, although I am not good at it.

6.

A few years ago, it seems like I thought that I should talk what the other wants to hear. I still haven’t threw away the habit and sometimes I feel like double faced. Being straightforward make me feel relieved. Sometimes, I go a bit far, saying what I should not say.

7.

For most time, I think of myself. I deeply think what I am, how I behave and what I should pursue. But it seems like an unhealthy way to care my mind. I judge myself, rationalize and fix.

8.

One of my favorite activities is reading web-toon. A number of them are childish, but most of them are enjoyable.

9.

I like activities that the one who I like likes. Anyway, if I am upset with those people, my interest toward the activities decreases.

10.

When stress depressed me much, I went to softball stadium. The field is far from the classes so I could shout, sing, run or stay still, looking at something interesting such as a bird, mountains or clouds. Free from concern that somebody would see me, I could spend my time.

11.

I am not interested in power games. I dream of tranquil life. Maintaining a few intimate relationship is better than earning wide favor.

12.

But I don't want to live on countryside. I got tamed to convenient city life.

13.

I went to Calcutta, India twice for FFT volunteering work. The team went into a class, two for each, and let the students make things. We give some materials, teach how to deal with it, and play together. The first year,  I was a lot confused, because they liked us so much. I didn't know how to behave to the children. As a shy student, I just concentrated on preparing materials and showing how to deal with the materials, charging my teammate senior to perform "the playing". The next year, I could talk a bit more only because I felt responsible in front of the freshmen. Though I still worked harder on preparing than on performing. However, unlikely to the last year, one of the friends there asked my facebook account. I was half afraid and half happy to give my email address, but he and I are still a good friends.

14.

I am interested in fashions, not wearing but watching. I just feel vicarious satisfaction through looking stylish looks.

15.

I like Korean words. Especially I like the listing-word game. Two or more player list words starting with two certain Korean consonants. The one who can list more words is the winner. Well, determining the winner or loser is not important in the game. It is more important to remind fresh words out from the component's mouth.

16.

Obsession is one of my characteristics. I prefer stuffs arrayed in a row so I can pick them up whenever I need. I don't let my Hangeul program draw a red underline. Well, after I realized that I am obsessive, I tried hard to be not because I was obsessed with the idea to be a "more perfect" one, ironically.

It was impossible and both useless. Now I think obsession is not a bad thing, and therefore I don't have to struggle to be something better or different.

17.

I like the scenery of mountains when I go to the cafeteria at morning. Especially snow covered mountains are the best. I wish I could see some large amount of water such as lake or ocean.

18.

I don't like learning foreign languages. It's too difficult to dig them up. Learning a few greeting words is interesting. 

19.

My current favorite songs are Let her go by Passenger, Burn by Ellie Goulding, Counting Stars by One Republic and Wake me up by Avicii. They might be the songs I will hear most when I am writing the essay. I dislike several loud songs. Safe and Sound by Capital Cities is not loud, but I don't like it. I don't know why exactly, but it isn't my taste.

20.

These days I am trying hard to recall that I can't rescue others. I have a kind of Messiah complex, believing that I can cure other's mental problems. But it is just an arrogance, and because of this complex I lost some of my close friends. 

21.

Softball. At first, I liked it only because it was one of few familiar thing in KMLA-I learned softball in middle school and got a good score. However through the games and teammates I could learn social skills and overcome depressions.

22.

About the depression, I was highly depressed because I was lonely. I just didn't make friends here. Over several semesters, I couldn't adjust to our school, including the people. That time, chat was the biggest mystery to me. How could people just say things and become intimate? Well my family don't talk much to each other. I wanted to get along with others, so I started to observe them.

23.

I like silly jokes. I laughed so hard when I heard the joke about new turn and Newton from Epic Minsa Rap Battle, made by YoungWoong Jo. (Now it isn't funny to me. I am used to it.) Sometimes I can't stop saying those kinds of jokes, even though I know that many people feel burdened to react and therefore hate them.

24.

Occasionally I get mad. Then I don't know how to deal with the anger. Recently I found a way to dissolve the emotion: climbing up the stairs.

25.

I like to play the Sanjo GaYaGeum. The sound of the thread is elegant. Although my finger skin hardens and get blister, I would pluck the thread for the music. Actually the music is not as melodical as Western classics but it has something moving my heart.

26.

I seized to think deeply after I stucked into iroy. I am tired of logics.

27.

I like vegetables rather than meat. The best is a peice of meat covered by vegetable.